Facebook is Fakebook...
To those of you who knew me, think you know me, or want to know me:
Facebook is FaKebook…
(And this begins my story of why.)
My friend posted a time hop photo of me a little while back, a photo of us back in college times, and my automatic simply wanted to hit like, and comment “Love You Too”... but there was something I was fighting with inside of my head. It felt fake to just look at this picture, click LIKE, and respond with a typically expected comment, knowing what my actual experience was like that night… drinking so much and not remembering how the night actually ended.
The old version of me didn't handle herself well, and didn't know how to control herself when she was drinking. The photo reminded me more than just the fun I had, but the truth behind that captured moment... those experiences we often laugh off or sweep under the rug.
I know I’m not the only one who has had them.
I was about halfway through the night, at the time of the photo. A few games of beer pong, in the garage, and finally opening up in a typical environment where I would have been the shy and quiet Erica if it wasn’t for the alcohol.
Shortly after high schooI, I had found a love for drinking… because I could be open, I could
be fun, I could be talkative, and people would like me… people would love the “fun” me.
(But that fun and outgoing Erica also didn’t have a balance. She didn’t have control.)
The morning after that night of partying, I remember waking up on the living room floor of a friends house. I had opened my eyes to see the underneath workings of a dining room table, and looked down to notice I had peed my pants at some point during my unknowing pass out and slumber on the floor. Once I realized this, I sneaked myself out the door to drive a few blocks home to go change my pants and return before anyone would notice.
Like I said, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through similar experiences... spending the next day after a night of partying putting together the pieces of what happened... combining photos with the stories your friends are talking about.
That photo, was just one of the many nights I’ve lived through like this.
Reality is, I don't hate what I've been through. I don't hate my experiences. Those experiences were there so that I could learn the better when the better presented itself to me, and I'm constantly on the path of better in every moment… in everyday.
Since leaving Long Island, exploring Austin, now living Memphis… meeting a man who embodies honesty & true love, and becoming a mother... My life is constantly growing towards the better that I learn in every way possible. And with my new growth and new found love for myself... I have grown & I have changed.
The thing is most people go around saying "don’t try to change me" & "love me for me"… but the truth is change can be good.. As long as it is for the better.
To me, Facebook is a FaKebook.
The majority of the time I scroll through here I see people constantly posting what they LIKE and sharing what they LIKE...displaying themselves the way they want themselves to be seen,
with limited depth, truth, or real life experiences.
It's time we begin to have those real conversations... and this is my lead…
We shouldn't all have to keep reliving each other's lessons. Let’s talk about what we “don’t like” and what we’re “afraid of” so we can really get to learn about each other… so we can really get to learn about ourselves.
Facebook is FaKebook... more to come…